From Stage Fright to Spotlight: Embracing the Fear of Public Speaking

I have always feared public speaking. The idea of standing in front of people, eyes locked on me, expecting something coherent—maybe even insightful—to come out of my mouth has always made my skin crawl. And yet, somehow, that same fear has pushed me straight into it time and time again.

I never sought out opportunities to speak in front of others, but life has a funny way of forcing you into uncomfortable situations. In the military, I had to give trainings. I hated it. My stomach would be in knots, my mind would blank, and I’d forget where I was in my own presentation. Teaching? Same thing. I can know my lesson inside and out, but the moment another adult walks in for an evaluation, I tense up. Suddenly, I forget the most basic math. I forget what I was even saying.

What I’ve learned is that following a script is nearly impossible for me. I can’t remember things that way. But if I let myself ad-lib, if I let the words flow naturally, it’s easier. It’s like my brain doesn’t want to be boxed in. I have to be on my own time, on my own terms. I can perform, I can teach, I can lead—if I do it in a way that feels natural to me.

I didn’t understand why this was the case for so long. But after finally realizing I have ADHD, the pieces started falling into place. The struggle to get words out, the way my brain freezes under pressure, the need for everything to be organic rather than scripted—it all makes sense now. And that’s a tough realization. Because once you know the “why,” the next question is: “Now what?”

For me, the answer is simple but difficult. I have to adapt. I have to lean into what works for me instead of forcing myself into a mold that doesn’t fit. That’s where the real challenge is. But there’s hope.

As I step further into politics, leadership, and personal growth, I know public speaking will be unavoidable. I’ll have to stand in front of people and deliver. But I’ve come to realize something—there’s no script for life, so why should I force one in my speeches? If I know what I’m talking about, if I believe in what I’m saying, then the words will come.

Fear has always been there, but fear is also how I grow. I’ve spent my whole life pushing myself into uncomfortable situations, and I’ll keep doing it. Because that’s how I find my voice.

And maybe, just maybe, it’s okay if I never follow a script. Maybe my voice is strongest when I just let it speak.